If a man does not find those things for which his heart is made, if he is never even invited to live for them from his deep heart, he will look for them in some other way.  Why is porn the number one snare for men?  He longs for the beauty, but without his fierce and passionate heart he cannot find her, or win her, or keep her.  Though he is powerfully drawn to the woman, he does not know how to fight for her, or even that he has to fight for her. Rather, he finds her mostly a mystery that he knows that he cannot solve and so at a soul level he keeps his distance.  And privately, secretly, he turns to the imitation.  What makes pornography so addictive is that more than anything else in a lost man’s life, it makes him feel like a man, without ever requiring a thing of him.  The less a guy feels like a real man in the presence of a real woman, the more vulnerable he is to porn. Excerpt from chapter three of the book “Wild at Heart – Discovering the Secret of a Man’s Soul ” by John Eldridge Author of The Journey of Desire and Coauthor of The Sacred Romance